October 16, 2009

Lauren, Gene's granddaughter,  keeps a blog mostly regarding her first child Madison Claire McSwain.  She recently posted a piece about her PaPa Howard's death and funeral.  Her remarks at the funeral were already posted.  Here is the rest of that post where she shared her last time to be with PaPa.

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PaPa Howard passed away on September 27th. We got word that he had become responsive on the previous Thursday so Ryan, Madison Claire, and I went down to Chattanooga on an emergency trip on Friday the 26th to se PaPa.  It was so hard to see him unresponsive.  It looked like even breathing with the help of the ventilator was so difficult for him.  I held his hand in the room and talked with him about everything going on in our lives - how Madison was doing, how Ryan's football team is this year, etc.  I also asked him to try to open his eyes for me and though he never did, I could see his eyes moving behind the lids as if he were trying really hard to open them.  I gave hiim as much positive encouragement as I could and told him that I could see his eyes moving.  I think if I were ever in a coma, I would want people to recognize that they knew I could hear them...even if I couldn't!  

It was reallly hard to leave Chattanooga that day, but I felt at peace that I was able to hold his hand and kiss his cheek and tell lhim goodbye.  I was able to be alone in the room with him for about 5 minutes and I told him how much I loved him, respected him, appreciated all that he had done for my family and our country and how I would always keep him in my heart.  I told him he had an important job to do in heaven, to find our little friend Ryan Morgan and say hello.  My mom told him to find her parents, my Mama and Papa Lambdin, and tell them about Madison Claire since they didn't get to meet her here on earth. 

I knew when we left that it could be the last time I saw him, but also had a hope that he would come out of the coma and improve.  We got back into Nashville around 8:30pm that evening and I got a call from my mom a little after 11:30pm that he had passed away.  

His funeral was on Thursday in Chattanooga and it was perfect.  PaPa would have loved it.  Their church is the most beautiful church you have ever seen and it was the perfect setting for his service.  Their pastor did an excellent job talking about PaPa...he described him as the true Renaissance Man...doing everything well.  That is so true!

At the end of the service, they had a military presentation of the flag and all of the grandchildren served as pallbearers leaving the service.  We went to the National Cemetery in Chattanooga for the burial.  He had full military honors including the draped flag over the coffin, rifle salute, playing of Taps on the bugle and the presentation of the flag to my grandmother.  It was so beautiful and touching.  I know that PaPa was smiling from heaven.  I am so proud of him. 

My MaMa Howard has been absolutely amzing throughout all of this.  I know the past few months of him in the hospital have been hard on her, but she has been incredibly loving and resilient, always advocating for his needs.  She took care of him every day and was a staple at the hospital.  She has a strength and grace that is truly admirable and I pray that I can have an ounce of that one day!  Please join us in praying for her as she learns to navigate life here on earth without her sweet husband.  She knows that she will see him again - praise the Lord!

It is hard to think about life here on earth without him but I know that life will go on with wonderful memories.  I will miss him terribly and will strive to make him proud in my actions in life.  He has left a legacy that all would be lucky to have.  I am thankful that God ordained me to be in the family that I am and am grateful for many great years and memories with such a wonderful grandfather.  I know that I will see him again in heaven and I will look forward to that day! I love you PaPa!